Mothers |
 Dec 27 2008, 11:54 PM
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#1
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Exclusive distributor of The Dungbomb Protection Kit  Posts: 2,632 Joined: 10:52pm March 5, 2007    |
What is the role of a mother? Is she to be the indulgent care-giver, making sure her child wants for nothing? Is she to be the disciplinarian, ensuring that her child reaches their potential, no matter what the cost? Sense and Sensibility is crowded with mothers...
Mrs. Dashwood-mother to Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret Mrs. Ferrars-mother to Edward, Robert, and Fanny Mrs. John Dashwood (aka Fanny)-mother to the spoiled Henry Mrs. Jennings-mother to Lady Middleton and Charlotte Lady Middleton-mother to four small children Charlotte Palmer-expectant mother and the mother figure, Mrs. Smith-aunt to John Willoughby All of these characters represent different stages of mothering, from the new and nervous Charlotte, to the experienced Mrs. Jennings. What do these mothers have in common? What are their faults? Who do you think was the best mother? Should a mother be held accountable for her child's actions? How much influence does the personality of the mother have on the formation of a child's character? What faults do you see in the children of these mothers that can be attributed to parenting style? These questions are simply a starting point, feel free to add your own thoughts and ideas! |
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Jan 5 2009, 08:01 PM
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#2
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Cauldron Bottom Measurer Posts: 108 Joined: 4:41pm July 26, 2008 Location: Walking down Diagon Alley with Ginny and Hermione |
i have always believed that a mothers role was rearing their child so as to become functioning, well rounded members of society. Imho Mrs Ferrars was the worst mother, no mother would be able to shun their child that way just because they won't oblige your every whim. I think Mrs Dashwood and Mrs Jennings represent the best mothers in this novel because they value their children's happiness above all else and delight in them. Mrs. Palmer is of course the typical first time mother who will spoil her baby until she get the hang of being a mom. I had a lot more to say but i think i will leave it here for now!
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Jan 10 2009, 01:48 PM
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#3
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Professional Diagon Alley Window Shopper Posts: 72 Joined: 10:45am November 9, 2008 |
I wouldn't have noticed it as a pattern, because they are different in other ways - but almost all these mothers spoil their children.
Except Mrs Ferrars, and Mrs Smith, who are at the other extreme of setting strict rules but having very little contact with their charges. In fact, at a quick mental skim through Jane Austen I struggle to find a mother who is both sensible and affectionate. It is amazing how well so many of them turned out. |
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Jan 18 2009, 09:48 AM
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#4
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The Other Half of the DDD  Posts: 4,946 Joined: 10:10am March 16, 2007 Location: Marauding with Moony, Padfoot and Prongs |
QUOTE(Fourmagpies @ Jan 10 2009, 06:48 PM)  In fact, at a quick mental skim through Jane Austen I struggle to find a mother who is both sensible and affectionate. It is amazing how well so many of them turned out. Well...I think Mrs Dashwood can be sensible as well as affectionate. I mean, yes, in some ways her nature is very close to that of Marianne, she tends to act on her emotions rather than rationally on occasions, but if you compare her to say, Mrs Jennings - now she is an affectionate mother, but she hasn't much regard for propriety and doesn't seem to observe social etiquette for the most part. Mrs Dashwood does at least do that, and with regards to bringing up her daughters I think she did remarkably well - what other mother in the book had turned out a daughter as well balanced, unselfish and sensible as Elinor? What was most important to Mrs Dashwood was the happiness and welfare of her daughters. They knew this, and it's my opinion that this had some bearing on the way they turned out. Now Mrs Ferrars on the other hand...ugh.  I have no time for people like her. She was far more concerned about money and status than the happiness of her children. It's no surprise that Fanny turned out to be so snobbish and intolerant of those below her in circumstance and class, but it's a miracle that Edward turned out to be so considerate and kind.Perhaps it's because his education would have taken him away from the confines of his mother's way of thinking. Whereas Fanny, being a girl, would have been educated at home, possibly by a governess, but also, to some extent by her mother. So in that case, it's really not at all surprising that Fanny turned out the way she did. She learnt it at her mother's knee. This post has been edited by SnapesSister: Jan 18 2009, 09:49 AM -------------------- |
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Jan 23 2009, 10:38 PM
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#5
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Exclusive distributor of The Dungbomb Protection Kit Posts: 2,632 Joined: 10:52pm March 5, 2007 |
Some random thoughts on the mothers:
Mrs. Dashwood- I found myself very frustrated with her assumption of Marianne's engagement. It seems that a girl's reputation is incredibly important to her future marriage, and I am surprised that Mrs. Dashwood did not make certain that the relationship between Marianne and Willoughby was what it should be. Why the reticence in asking "So, are you two properly engaged?" For me, I heartily empathized with Eleanor's frustration at her mother's refusal to address the situation. Mrs. Smith- Probably the best example of a mother in the book. I don't know if she is responsible for giving Willoughby unlimited funds to play with, but I admire her insistence that he make his wrongs right, even though it meant that his marriage would not be a societal match. Mrs. Ferrars- An illustration of the extreme, wanting your child to succeed so badly that you are willing to sacrifice their happiness in the process. She certainly got what she deserved when Robert turned on her and married Lucy. |
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Jan 30 2009, 07:57 AM
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#6
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Doctor Filibuster's Junior Assistant Posts: 1,963 Joined: 8:57am March 12, 2005 Location: at Home or somewhere in between |
QUOTE(Pyxis @ Jan 23 2009, 10:38 PM) Mrs. Dashwood- I found myself very frustrated with her assumption of Marianne's engagement. It seems that a girl's reputation is incredibly important to her future marriage, and I am surprised that Mrs. Dashwood did not make certain that the relationship between Marianne and Willoughby was what it should be. Why the reticence in asking "So, are you two properly engaged?" For me, I heartily empathized with Eleanor's frustration at her mother's refusal to address the situation. I do think this is very typical thinking for many parents.  These days, you'll hear many people justifying sex before marriage as long as they are "in love". Pity the girl who experiments with the physicality of the act rather than succumb to the emotional aspects ("it just happened...we couldn't help ourselves")...she will often be "branded" with a reputation which will be hard for her to leave behind. Mrs Dashwood knows her daughter is a "good" girl and moreover, she trusts her and will support her no matter what. She is the embodiment of unconditional love, and to me, is the "god/goddess" representation in the book. She doesn't pry, and she is willing to wait until her daughter is ready to reveal...but in the meantime, is also willing to believe the best of her daughter.QUOTE Mrs. Ferrars- An illustration of the extreme, wanting your child to succeed so badly that you are willing to sacrifice their happiness in the process. She certainly got what she deserved when Robert turned on her and married Lucy. I agree that she got what she deserved, but she also got what she wanted. Lucy ends up "playing up"  to Mrs Ferrars for the fool she was, through her skillful flattery and deception...so much so that Robert became Mrs Ferrars favorite yet again. Mrs Ferrars didn't want truth, as was evident in Elinor's and Edward's relationship...she would rather be lulled and soothed by a fantasy of her own (and society's) making.
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