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Leaky Lounge > Non-HP-Related Discussion: Wizarding London > Parents & Professionals: The Department of Underage Magic > Writers: Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop

 
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A Place to Share, Let's see your stories!
fawkes28
post Mar 21 2008, 10:20 AM
Post #1
Organizing the Halo Rebellion


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Posts: 3,301
Joined: 2:09pm April 16, 2006
Location: Being angelic, of course
This thread is a place where you can share your writing. We hope that we can inspire each other to become better writers. However, we do have some rules that we ask that you follow.

#1. Our word limit in this thread is 1000 words. If your story goes over this amount, then we ask that you choose which part you would like to share.

#2. This thread is only for the sharing of stories not for commenting. If you have a comment, we ask that you privately PM the member or leave a note in his/her comments.

#3. You may leave a link to your writing as long as the material falls within our PG-13 guidelines.

#4. Only make ONE post at a time. Double posts are not allowed on the lounge unless 24 hours has passed.

This post has been edited by fawkes28: Mar 23 2008, 08:45 AM


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RoseWeasley95
post Sep 21 2009, 11:56 AM
Post #2
Just Through the Brick Wall


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Posts: 4
Joined: 7:59pm September 11, 2009
I really like this. It sounds very interesting. There's only one thing I would change, if I were you. In paragraph 4, you say "Both girls, who were dressed in shorts and vest-tops, took off their black back-packs and put them on the grass. Rachel lay backwards and rested upon the back-pack while Alexis remained standing" Backpack is one word, so you don't need the hyphen. And if you changed "rested upon the back-pack" to "rested upon her backpack", it makes it flow better. If you are wanting her to rest upon both backpacks, simply say "the backpacks". Sorry, I'm just a grammer freak, but I would like to hear more of your story. It's very interesting thus far.
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Posts in this topic
- fawkes28   A Place to Share   Mar 21 2008, 10:20 AM
- - jaimedanser   Well, I'll start with a preview of my story I...   Mar 22 2008, 12:11 AM
- - Arcalus   A nice little story I wrote. All 12 pages can be f...   Mar 22 2008, 09:29 AM
- - ktmac   This story is about a woman who finds out, one yea...   Mar 22 2008, 08:41 PM
- - xxcigaroxx   Harry Potter and the ghostly realm http://captain...   Mar 23 2008, 01:16 AM
- - Arcalus   The Remnants War Not a sound was heard as Arcalus...   Mar 23 2008, 02:50 PM
- - sherman   Well....it's a two part. It's a romance f...   Mar 23 2008, 11:03 PM
- - Arcalus   The Remnants War, Part Two "Ah!" Arc...   Mar 24 2008, 09:17 AM
- - eowyngirl   This is an excerpt from a novel I'm writing ab...   Apr 26 2008, 11:02 PM
- - Tarí.Vardamir   Revolution Begins My fic is about a girl named He...   Apr 29 2008, 12:25 PM
|- - EducationalDecreeNo23   QUOTE(Tarí.Vardamir @ Apr 29 2008, 01:25 ...   Oct 21 2008, 02:39 PM
- - ktmac   Here is the remainder of the scene I posted awhile...   Apr 29 2008, 06:08 PM
- - Glow   from "A Brief Acquaintance" (the narrat...   May 3 2008, 11:54 PM
- - Art Addict   Here's a preview of a story I just started. I...   May 10 2008, 02:55 PM
- - HPFanNZ   This is something I started working on yesterday a...   Jun 10 2008, 09:30 PM
- - MagicDucks   This is part of the first chapter of my fan fic ab...   Jun 26 2008, 10:45 AM
- - HollyLime   This is the beginning of a story I just wrote. I h...   Jul 5 2008, 01:14 PM
- - justblue73   I don't really write stories, although I would...   Jul 16 2008, 02:11 PM
- - Sirius_isn't_dead   This is a bit of chapter one of a new story I...   Aug 24 2008, 09:23 PM
- - EducationalDecreeNo23   My start at a story. About a mad and adventurous f...   Nov 22 2008, 05:43 AM
- - GoodLuckCharm   Just wondering if there are any budding authors he...   Jan 7 2009, 03:23 AM
- - DumblondKatie   Ooh. Great started to the story. I would definatly...   Jan 7 2009, 03:58 AM
- - GoodLuckCharm   Thanks for reading it and your comments. I didn...   Jan 7 2009, 04:16 AM
- - Kaiser-Kun   I am trying to write a novel. I say "trying...   Jan 7 2009, 11:09 AM
- - OneHeadedDog   Your story sounds very interesting. The only sugg...   Jan 7 2009, 11:29 AM
- - GoodLuckCharm   Not sure if I like this next one as much as the fi...   Jan 10 2009, 10:26 PM
- - GoodLuckCharm   No-one? I'm not sure weather I should continu...   Jan 11 2009, 02:34 PM
- - Kaiser-Kun   This is the introduction to my first original nove...   Jan 12 2009, 07:09 PM
- - RaWr...WeReWoLf   these stories are all so good!   Apr 7 2009, 05:03 PM
- - Stuart144   This is written after book 7 epilouge. its my firs...   May 1 2009, 12:01 PM
- - Aleley17   Hi. This is one of the few scenes from my story th...   May 23 2009, 06:13 PM
- - voldys gone moldy   I like it   Jun 10 2009, 12:01 PM

 

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