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Revised Editions of the HP Books, My literary critique shows a need for revisions of the books
Migdalin
post Apr 26 2009, 09:05 AM
Post #1
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For most fans, a fully-revised seven books has to sound pretty good. Probably we all have different ideas on what a revised edition would look like. As for myself, I've written a book-length (80,000 word!) critique that spells out what I think Ms. Rowling should focus on in such a revision. The critique is unpublished and free to be read, dowloaded, used in the classroom, etc. The critique is posted in PDF format, broken out by chapter (but I plan to put an all-in-one PDF up soon), and can be found at
Destiny Unfulfilled: A Critique of the Harry Potter Series
(http://www.migdalin.com/HarryPotter).

I feel my main qualifications for writing the book are that I'm a (slightly disgruntled) fan of the series, and I've put a lot of effort into analyzing the seven books. To be clear, this is not a religious diatribe, political axe-grinding, nor do I attempt to take Ms. Rowling to school on who should have fallen in love with whom in the series. Rather, this is an examination of issues like the role of a protagonist, the writer's contract with her readers, characterization, shaggy dog resolutions, and so forth.

The critique makes claims such as that Harry fails to fulfill his role as a protagonist and, ultimately, ceases to be even a necessary character. Hermione could easily have made it through Book 7 without Harry and Ron tagging along after her.... That seems like a fairly major problem, when the title character turns out to be unnecessary.

I hope we can make enough noise to get Ms. Rowling's attention. We aren't asking for more books in the series, just that she fulfill the promises she made to us: that the books would star Harry as the hero and protagonist, that the books wouldn't be episodic, and so forth.

Cheers,
Jim


This post has been edited by Pleione: May 9 2009, 01:30 PM
Reason for edit: Edited on request. :)


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George Weasley...
post Apr 28 2009, 11:47 AM
Post #2
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QUOTE
Did he, though? He certainly never gets over being a passive, sit around, lackluster wizard. But even with regard to key plot events, exactly how many of those does Harry really solve himself?


You seem to have confused longtime internal struggle with quick moments of action. First off the scar on Harry's hand is proof that Harry is anything, but passive. Talking back to his Aunt and Uncle standing up to Dudley is not being passive. CHasing down Bellatrix again, not passive. Going after Snape, again not passive, confrnting Malfoy regularly again not passive. If Harry was just going to sit around he would not have fully intened on going on his litte journey in Book 7 ALONE. Harry willingly died for those friends that you seem to think were no big deal to him. Is Harry flawed? Of course he is. Everyone is. So isn't that again more of him being a realistic character? As far as the story overall, it's just that a story. Writers write stories that they have envisioned. Rowling had an ending before she had a beginning to Harry Potter. She always said she knew how it was all supposed to end. I haven't read many stories though that don't have moments of convenience that get the characters quickly out of trouble or that don't have sudden epiphonies (sic?) about their potential or their abilities.

You mention being lucky is valued more than your actual abilities. But if I recall Ron didn't actually drink any Felix he had just thought he had. It gave him confidence. Sometimes people need a little nudge to recognize their potential and truthfully I think that all Felix is is the confidence to recognize ones own abilities. While I admire your critique people can find whatthey see are flaws in it as well and argue your points just as you can find flaws inr Rowlings work and argue your points.

Do I think she owes us a rewrite? No. Harry was her baby so to speak. We could have either liked it or disliked it, but bottom line is that it was her story to tell not mine or yours. While all are entitled to their opinions what she thinks of her accomplishment is what's important. If it was how she always wanted it to be and she didn't sell herself out to pressure than I think Harry did what Harry was intended to do. If her story was truely that flawed many would have quit reading after Book 2. Many think that to be the worst book of the series. Thank god so many of us stuck it out.


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Migdalin
post Apr 28 2009, 01:50 PM
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QUOTE(George Weasley's Girlfriend @ Apr 28 2009, 11:47 AM) *
First off the scar on Harry's hand is proof that Harry is anything, but passive.


Maybe ineffectual is a better term for it, then. Yes, Harry does actually do things, but to what effect? In this case, he shoots his mouth off even though he knows it's counter-productive. And the result? Harry is made to write lines. Sorry, but this is Book 1 stuff. Umbridge doesn't up the ante. Voldemort is back, and yet we spend Book 5 with Dolores Umbridge as Harry's primary nemesis.

What we have there is more manipulation. The story never tires of making Harry into the poor, helpless, oppressed orphan. We feel sorry for him because the mean old Umbridge is picking on him. But the result is a lot of empty noise. Harry's "rebellion" accomplishes nothing other than to made him look like an imbecile.

QUOTE(George Weasley's Girlfriend @ Apr 28 2009, 11:47 AM) *
Talking back to his Aunt and Uncle standing up to Dudley is not being passive.


But returning to the Dursley home year after year is passive. Even the blowing up of Aunt Marge is presented as accidental, something outside of Harry's conscious control. His muttering nonsense magical words to Dudley is a spontaneous outburst. His cruelty toward Dudley at the start of Book 5 is a transient state. It doesn't indicate that Harry's turned into a predatory monster, but only that the story wants to inject additional stress into the scene, and it does that by having Harry behave cruelly.

A heroic Harry, one dedicated to the downfall of Voldemort, would not have wasted every single summer lounging around at the Dursley home feeling sorry for himself. And any amount of "talking back" to his aunt and uncle doesn't make up for that wasted time.

QUOTE(George Weasley's Girlfriend @ Apr 28 2009, 11:47 AM) *
CHasing down Bellatrix again, not passive. Going after Snape, again not passive,


Right. Two instances where Harry gets toyed with, laughed at, his abilities shown to be trivial. He's immature, not in control of his emotions, still shouting spells at the top of his lungs.... And these are events at the end of Books 5 and 6.

QUOTE(George Weasley's Girlfriend @ Apr 28 2009, 11:47 AM) *
confrnting Malfoy regularly again not passive.


Harry regularly gets into squabbles with Malfoy. But what is the result of that? Where does it lead? Is there any point where either Harry or Malfoy move beyond the schoolboy bickering of their first year? Even in Book 7, is there ever a point where Harry tries to talk sense to Malfoy, get him to join in with the good guys? With Malfoy we have yet more empty noise. Another way to inject tension into otherwise placid stretches of the school year.

QUOTE(George Weasley's Girlfriend @ Apr 28 2009, 11:47 AM) *
You mention being lucky is valued more than your actual abilities. But if I recall Ron didn't actually drink any Felix he had just thought he had. It gave him confidence.


Confidence in Quidditch. Sigh. The world is at war, Voldemort is a heartbeat away from being in total control, and yet Book 6 focuses on Quidditch and "what is Draco up to?" Harry's obsession with Malfoy again makes Harry look clueless and immature, but accomplishes nothing else. Moreover, what in heaven's name is Harry doing, disbanding the DA and accepting the Quidditch Captainship, at a time when he should be preparing to face Voldemort?

Harry's no hero, and in Book 6, he doesn't even attempt to be one, doesn't even bother going through the motions.


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Posts in this topic
- Migdalin   Revised Editions of the HP Books   Apr 26 2009, 09:05 AM
- - Zoom   No, no, no, no, no, no no and no again. Re writin...   Apr 26 2009, 10:52 AM
|- - wandmastercalum   QUOTE(Zoom @ Apr 26 2009, 04:52 PM) No, n...   Apr 27 2009, 11:59 AM
- - chloe squibbulus   I second that 'no.' Its up to Rowling if ...   Apr 26 2009, 11:33 AM
- - Rinzy   Uh... Say what? Firstly, I agree with Zoom and ch...   Apr 26 2009, 11:36 AM
- - JaneMarple9   I have to politely disagree . Jo could never plea...   Apr 26 2009, 01:28 PM
- - Fricka   Joanne Kathleen Rowling owes me NOTHING! I am ...   Apr 26 2009, 02:16 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Fricka @ Apr 26 2009, 02:16 PM) Now...   Apr 27 2009, 10:09 AM
|- - SnapesSister   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 27 2009, 04:09 PM) W...   Apr 27 2009, 10:22 AM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(SnapesSister @ Apr 27 2009, 10:22 A...   Apr 27 2009, 10:50 AM
- - LunaLovegood286   J.K Rowling should not have to change anything. Ha...   Apr 26 2009, 04:46 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(LunaLovegood286 @ Apr 26 2009, 04:4...   Apr 27 2009, 10:23 AM
|- - Eva Hedwig   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 27 2009, 03:23 PM) t...   Apr 27 2009, 10:55 AM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Eva Hedwig @ Apr 27 2009, 10:55 AM)...   Apr 27 2009, 11:17 AM
|- - Eva Hedwig   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 27 2009, 04:17 PM) T...   Apr 27 2009, 06:41 PM
|- - WalnutWandCarrier   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 27 2009, 12:17 PM) Q...   Apr 29 2009, 01:17 PM
- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Zoom @ Apr 26 2009, 10:52 AM) Re wr...   Apr 27 2009, 09:15 AM
|- - davidenglish   Dear Migdalin, I'm sure you're not a ...   Apr 30 2009, 07:12 PM
- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Rinzy @ Apr 26 2009, 11:36 AM) Thir...   Apr 27 2009, 09:47 AM
|- - lirene   First off, to Leaky, Migdalin. Second, your topic...   Apr 27 2009, 10:08 AM
- - Flutesong   I agree that the final book needs an overhaul. As ...   Apr 27 2009, 11:58 AM
- - Purpleztar   The first five books were amazing. The sixth book ...   Apr 27 2009, 04:12 PM
- - George Weasley's Girlfriend   QUOTEWhat I try to do in Destiny Unfulfilled, as m...   Apr 27 2009, 05:44 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(George Weasley's Girlfriend @ Apr 2...   Apr 28 2009, 07:54 AM
- - Mrs_Linnea_Snape   Migdalin, I haven't read your essay yet, but I...   Apr 27 2009, 09:10 PM
- - moonyschick   It may not seem like Harry was all too traumatized...   Apr 27 2009, 09:34 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(moonyschick @ Apr 27 2009, 09:34 PM...   Apr 28 2009, 09:19 AM
- - Nadezhda   I have now read about two chapters of your critiqu...   Apr 28 2009, 01:40 AM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Nadezhda @ Apr 28 2009, 01:40 AM) [...   Apr 28 2009, 08:34 AM
|- - roonwit   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 28 2009, 07:50 PM) A...   Apr 28 2009, 05:02 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(roonwit @ Apr 28 2009, 05:02 PM) Ha...   Apr 29 2009, 10:46 AM
|- - roonwit   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 29 2009, 04:46 PM) I...   Apr 29 2009, 02:35 PM
- - Wendall   Migdalin, I've only read about 25 pages of Des...   Apr 28 2009, 04:45 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Wendall @ Apr 28 2009, 04:45 PM) Bu...   Apr 29 2009, 10:00 AM
|- - Wendall   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 29 2009, 04:00 PM) I...   Apr 29 2009, 03:02 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Wendall @ Apr 29 2009, 03:02 PM) Bu...   Apr 30 2009, 08:04 AM
|- - Wendall   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 30 2009, 02:04 PM) I...   Apr 30 2009, 01:44 PM
- - moonyschick   QUOTEBut returning to the Dursley home year after ...   Apr 28 2009, 05:09 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(moonyschick @ Apr 28 2009, 05:09 PM...   Apr 29 2009, 10:35 AM
- - Hallows not Horcruxes   "Yes, Harry gets older, but do the events in ...   Apr 28 2009, 05:37 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Hallows not Horcruxes @ Apr 28 2009, 05...   Apr 29 2009, 11:06 AM
- - Nadezhda   Great post, Wendall, I completely agree. QUOTEHar...   Apr 29 2009, 11:54 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Nadezhda @ Apr 29 2009, 11:54 PM) I...   Apr 30 2009, 08:26 AM
- - Gandalf's Beard   Well, I have never come across anyone quite as hub...   Apr 30 2009, 08:43 AM
|- - WalnutWandCarrier   QUOTE(Gandalf's Beard @ Apr 30 2009, 09...   Apr 30 2009, 09:31 AM
- - Gandalf's Beard   I couldn't find a good emoticon for sarcasm ,...   Apr 30 2009, 10:31 AM
|- - Migdalin   I'd forgotten about putting that bit about the...   Apr 30 2009, 11:29 AM
|- - Pleione   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 30 2009, 12:29 PM) I...   Apr 30 2009, 12:42 PM
- - Mrs_Linnea_Snape   Migdalin, I finally sat down and read all of Desti...   Apr 30 2009, 12:40 PM
- - George Weasley's Girlfriend   QUOTEAt platform nine and three quarters, as every...   Apr 30 2009, 01:08 PM
- - dave1972   To say that J.K.Rowling owes us revised editions o...   Apr 30 2009, 03:45 PM
- - Wendall   Migdalin, after reading a bit more of Destiny Unfu...   Apr 30 2009, 03:54 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Wendall @ Apr 30 2009, 03:54 PM) So...   Apr 30 2009, 05:50 PM
|- - Wendall   QUOTE(Migdalin @ Apr 30 2009, 11:50 PM) I...   May 1 2009, 06:01 AM
- - Kalin   I'm still reading the critique which brings up...   Apr 30 2009, 07:30 PM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Kalin @ Apr 30 2009, 07:30 PM) Anot...   May 3 2009, 09:28 AM
|- - acciosirius   QUOTE(Migdalin @ May 3 2009, 09:28 AM) (S...   May 3 2009, 10:03 AM
- - Nadezhda   QUOTEI was definitely trying to read between the l...   May 1 2009, 01:25 AM
- - MaraudingDon   Migdalin, that is an astonishing accomplishment to...   May 1 2009, 03:15 AM
- - Gandalf's Beard   QUOTEMigdalin wrote: Maybe this is something tha...   May 1 2009, 04:11 AM
|- - Northen Light36   QUOTE(Gandalf's Beard @ May 1 2009, 07...   May 1 2009, 10:49 PM
- - Migdalin   QUOTE(Mrs_Linnea_Snape @ Apr 30 2009, 12...   May 1 2009, 05:59 AM
- - Migdalin   QUOTE(dave1972 @ Apr 30 2009, 03:45 PM) T...   May 1 2009, 07:51 AM
|- - lirene   QUOTE(Migdalin @ May 1 2009, 08:51 AM) Wh...   May 1 2009, 12:30 PM
- - birdi86   JKR doesn't owe you or anyone else anything. E...   May 1 2009, 01:47 PM
- - Gandalf's Beard   Funnily enough, Stephen King thinks the Potter boo...   May 1 2009, 08:43 PM
- - Zoom   Since you gunned for my post specifically: QUOTEW...   May 1 2009, 08:46 PM
- - Gandalf's Beard   I haven't heard about Michael Scott's seri...   May 2 2009, 02:09 AM
- - Northen Light36   Mr Scott is worth reading if you're interreste...   May 2 2009, 02:13 AM
- - Mrs_Linnea_Snape   QUOTEHow about this one. Suppose Fred and George h...   May 2 2009, 06:12 AM
|- - WalnutWandCarrier   QUOTE(Mrs_Linnea_Snape @ May 2 2009, 07:1...   May 2 2009, 12:59 PM
|- - Hallows not Horcruxes   QUOTE(Mrs_Linnea_Snape @ May 2 2009, 06:1...   May 2 2009, 04:43 PM
|- - Bedford Falls   QUOTE(Hallows not Horcruxes @ May 2 2009, 04...   May 2 2009, 05:25 PM
|- - roonwit   QUOTE(Hallows not Horcruxes @ May 2 2009, 10...   May 3 2009, 09:39 AM
- - calliet2b4g   JKR wrote the books for them to be enjoyed! wh...   May 2 2009, 07:07 AM
|- - Migdalin   QUOTE([b]Mrs_Linnea_Snape[/b]) It...   May 2 2009, 07:35 AM
|- - Pleione   QUOTE(Migdalin @ May 2 2009, 08:35 AM) .....   May 2 2009, 06:50 PM
- - Northen Light36   QUOTEOften, the reward for a job well done is to b...   May 2 2009, 08:37 AM
- - acciosirius   Hi everyone! This is my first post, but I’ve b...   May 2 2009, 10:51 AM
- - BeAchL0veEr05   I think Harry is important to the series, and alth...   May 2 2009, 12:34 PM
- - davidenglish   Whenever one feels a work of fiction has gone off ...   May 2 2009, 03:08 PM
- - TheGoldenSeeker   Yeah... i don't think revising them is a good ...   May 2 2009, 03:22 PM
- - lirene   *Your Professor Snape imitation was great Pleione ...   May 2 2009, 07:13 PM
|- - Nadezhda   QUOTE(lirene @ May 3 2009, 06:13 AM) *You...   May 3 2009, 11:01 AM
|- - Mrs_Linnea_Snape   QUOTE(lirene @ May 2 2009, 08:13 PM) *You...   May 4 2009, 01:14 AM
|- - Hallows not Horcruxes   QUOTE(Mrs_Linnea_Snape @ May 4 2009, 01:1...   May 4 2009, 01:38 AM
|- - Mrs_Linnea_Snape   QUOTE(Hallows not Horcruxes @ May 4 2009, 02...   May 4 2009, 02:05 AM
- - Gandalf's Beard   Thanks to Davidenglish and AccioSirius (and others...   May 2 2009, 07:24 PM
- - cbm   I could write a great deal about what I think of y...   May 2 2009, 11:47 PM
- - davidenglish   QUOTEWould things have gone differently in that fi...   May 3 2009, 10:50 AM
|- - madbrad   QUOTE(davidenglish @ May 4 2009, 01:50 AM...   May 3 2009, 07:34 PM
- - Kalin   Just a quick comment on the anti-hero concept: QU...   May 3 2009, 07:35 PM
- - Gandalf's Beard   Kalin is absolutely right. I continue to be amazed...   May 3 2009, 09:18 PM
|- - madbrad   QUOTEThe elder wand is not an unbeatable wand, the...   May 3 2009, 10:43 PM
- - Kalin   Well, the whole plot is obviously improbable as it...   May 3 2009, 11:46 PM
- - Shard   I think the problem that people have with the wand...   May 4 2009, 12:02 AM
- - Wind Lane   Migdalin - Just started reading this and noted a f...   May 4 2009, 12:55 AM
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