Snape: Good or Bad or Good in Bed?, By Dr Cynthya Cynycal |
 Mar 31 2007, 10:54 PM
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Queen of Scribbuliciousness  Posts: 2,528 Joined: 1:00am October 2, 2005 Location: Deathly Hallows is my Rochester, my Romeo, my Heathcliffe...    |
Snape: Good or Bad or Good in Bed?
By Dr Cynthya Cynycal Abstract & Biography: Dr Cynthya Cynycal, a Madurodam psychologyst (as in Get Your Stuff Together), feels her private practice for the treatment of the fictionally infatuated has been hijacked by Snape, who is worshipped like a god by most of her clients. Dr Cynthya’s dearest ambition is to help put an end to the Snape craze by giving you tried & tested, wise & thoughtful tricks & tips, based on years of experience, to loosen Your Inner Snape’s pincer-like grip. Acknowledgments: I wish to thank my ex-client, whom I shall name “Nina,” for her invaluable contribution in making Severus Anonymous® happen. Nina’s tenacious Snape obsession was a challenge for both of us and demanded the utmost of my creativity. An outline of dr Cynycal's Severus Anonymous® treatment plan can be found here. --------------------  Jeeves, I am not awake. I have not had my tea and yet you bring me Fink-Nottles. |
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Apr 1 2007, 11:30 AM
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Assistant Stargazer to Firenze  Posts: 1,092 Joined: 12:37pm July 16, 2005 Location: I want to be a part of it ... New York, New York |
Dr. Cynycal, I must thank you for writing this essay. Though I found it painful to read (many tears were shed), I know it is necessary to expose this debilitating disorder suffered by so many women in the world. Though I myself have grappled now and then with a borderline case of Snape Obsession (admitting it is the first step), the tears I shed were mostly for my anonymous friend - the one we call "Nina".
She has suffered greatly, and I know you and Snivellus the Snuppet have helped her immensely. Why, just the other day I heard her dismiss Snape as a "git" while offhandedly mentioning that Alan Rickman had "lovely feet" in the same breath. I'm not sure what significance this has, but it sure seems like a step in the right direction to me. I have a final comment regarding footnote #63, about Snape's feet having some bearing on the outcome of DH. Please see the essay "Sock It To Him!" in this month's issue of Scribbulus, and mentally replace Voldemort with Snape as you read the ending. Could this be a possible fate for our Severus as well? Bravo, Dr. Cynycal!  Truly noble, selfless work!
--------------------  I called it - June 2007 |
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Apr 1 2007, 04:40 PM
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Just Through the Brick Wall Posts: 12 Joined: 3:44am April 1, 2007 |
Thank you, Witherwings, and now that you mention ‘truly noble' and 'selfless’, here's the missing link to the SeverusAnonymous® self-directed, online rehab clinic for all readers to visit: http://www.severusanonymous.co.uk/registration.php.
You will find the Clinic’s reasonable fees on the registration page. However, since today is such a special day -the very first day the Clinic's online- I decided to give all of you a free password that gains access to most of the site’s sections. Feel free to use it today. Note that registration does require a web cam. When indicated look into your web cam and say the password loud and clear: “Enolirpa”. Explore the site, have fun and remember: if you like what you see, just pay that fee! Dr Cynthya Cynycal |
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Apr 1 2007, 05:52 PM
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Knight Bus Driver in Training  Posts: 550 Joined: 3:19pm December 21, 2006 Location: In training to perform ninja wandwork. |
Dr. Cynical, I have a question. Recently I've been having dreams about Snape in which he appears to be a stoic and mysterious older man - not unlike Clint Eastwood often plays in movies. He is interacting with Harry like Tommy Lee Jones would interact with Will Smith in Men in Black. It seems so realistic and being as he does wear black
--------------------  Shipping Lupius to the end! “Happy St. Dumbledore’s Day to all and to all a good night!” |
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Apr 1 2007, 08:28 PM
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Firebolt-Polisher at Quality Quidditch Supplies Posts: 1,094 Joined: 11:57am January 28, 2005   |
Dr Cynycal, I'm certain that your clynycal therapy can help a friend of mine (who shall truly remain anonymous, unlike poor "Nina"). My friend believes that Snape is "misunderstood." Apparently she has read some of the fanfic you mention in your essay and it may take years to undo the damage. I have sent her the link to your clynyc and hope that you can help her!
-------------------- Avatar by hpboy13 |
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Apr 2 2007, 06:53 AM
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Shopping the sales rack at Madam Malkins Posts: 2,547 Joined: 4:26pm August 4, 2005 |
 Thank you Dr Cynycal. I haven't laughed that much in ages! 
-------------------- "My idea of good company, Mr Elliott, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."
"You are mistaken," said he gently, "that is not good company, that is the best." Persuasion by Jane Austen |
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Apr 2 2007, 09:07 AM
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Kibble Boy/Girl at the Magical Menagerie Posts: 296 Joined: 8:33am September 22, 2006 Location: Blowing my nose |
That was so wonderful! Truly amazing! I know a lot of people who need to be enrolled in your clinic. You are correct in saying that there aren't any fics out there where Snape's "horribly flickering vein" in his neck is paid tribute to. Or least if there is I haven't read it. However I have read many where the taste and smell of the Potions Master is described extremely detailed. The diary entry was priceless! Even your footnotes gave my streaming tears from laughter!!!! Do you have a clinic set up for non-Snape fangirl? One for those hopelessly in love with bad boy with a heart of gold   ? BTW I always thought Snape would smell like camphor. *very ashamed I think thought that much about it* BRAVO!!!!
--------------------  "A prize fighter in a corner is told, Hit where it hurts, Silver and Gold." -- U2 |
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Apr 2 2007, 10:13 AM
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Eeylops Owl Cage Cleaner Posts: 217 Joined: 4:22am July 9, 2005 Location: Just apparated... uh... somewhere in the Pacific. I think. |
I can't stop laughing. It was very good, I love it.
-------------------- Member S.K.I.M/S.O.U.R.M.I.L.K. (July 2005) S.P.E.W. (April 4, 2006)
Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book. If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for? Alice Walker |
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Apr 2 2007, 10:30 AM
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Monster Book Stacker Posts: 354 Joined: 12:32pm July 27, 2006 Location: Denial  |
A wonderful essay, thank you so much for it! My cat left the room because I was laughing so hard about Grabthar's Hammer.
Yes, I enjoyed reading it, but your cruel plan didn't work on me. I am still perfectly Snape-obsessed. --------------------   |
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Apr 2 2007, 11:39 AM
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Cauldron Bottom Measurer Posts: 108 Joined: 4:53pm January 28, 2005 Location: The Land of Corn (Iowa) |
I pity the males whose curiousity got the better of them, and made the unwise decision to peruse your wonderful essay. Though, I must admit, the "Lolita" parody in the first paragraph ought to have given them a hint of things to come.....Excellent work!
This post has been edited by Hedwig June: Apr 2 2007, 11:40 AM -------------------- "The only love greater than that
of a mother who gives up her life for her son.... is that of a man who sacrifices himself for the world..... |
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